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Forgiving others for your sake, not theirs
It has been said that we are our own worst enemies. This is very often true, and we are unaware of it. There are numerous examples, but one is when we harbor negativity and refuse to let it go. That rage and negativity seep into everything we do, darkening our entire life and crushing our souls. This is why I frequently tell people that when you forgive someone, you do so for yourself, not them. Often, the people we forgive are unaware that we have forgiven them or do not care, but you will.
Holding anger, resentment, and strife against another person and thinking about them constantly poisons you, leaving you dark and angry. People frequently reflect on how they were wronged and hurt because they cannot comprehend the problem or the other person's reaction. This can spiral into constant frustration, eventually leading to depression. If you believe you have a problem like this, the best thing you can do is forgive this person and move on. This is not an easy choice and can only be done at any time with effort, but it is critical.
When you forgive someone, you do so for yourself, not for them. You must let go of your anger and hatred for yourself. You must free yourself from them and what occurred. Learn from what happened so that it does not happen again, and then begin to let it go.
This can be one of the most difficult things to do, especially if a loved one victimizes you. When the person who harmed us died, this became increasingly difficult. There is no one left to vent to or talk to about it; you must simply accept it. It is still critical to let go and move on.
So, if you are holding grudges against or towards a person or group of people and are unable to let them go, seek the assistance of a professional, a mentor, or a religious leader to assist you in moving past this and forgiving others. Remember that it is not for them but for you.
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Dr. Matt Chalmers
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. Before taking any action based on this information you should first consult with your physician or health care provider. This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions regarding a medical condition, your health, or wellness.