Healing through Connection: Building Safe Spaces for Growth

Oct 09, 2024

In this enlightening episode, we explore the profound connection between safety and healing. Our guest delves into the critical role that a safe environment plays in fostering emotional well-being and personal growth. By creating spaces where individuals feel secure, we can unlock the potential for transformative healing experiences.

The conversation highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing complacency in our lives. Often, we settle into routines that prevent us from fully realizing our potential. Through practical strategies and insights, we learn how to break free from these limitations, embracing the journey toward a more fulfilling life.

Listeners will gain valuable tools to cultivate peace and emotional safety in their own lives. This episode emphasizes that healing is not just about overcoming past traumas, but also about creating a supportive foundation for future growth. Join us as we uncover the pathways to liberation and empowerment through the nurturing of safe environments.

Highlights of the Podcast

00:02 - Introduction & Sarah's Work

01:11 - Difference Between Psychiatry & Hypnotherapy

02:33 - Clarifying the Misconception About Hypnosis

04:04 - Stage Hypnosis vs. Clinical Hypnosis

05:31 - History and Power of Hypnosis

06:59 - Mental Strength and Responsibility

08:49 - Finding the Right Practitioner & Modality

10:50 - Specialization: Childhood Trauma & Relationships

13:48 - Working with Children & The Subconscious Mind

17:05 - Trauma Definition & Impact

21:32 - Importance of Knowledge for Adults

23:30 - Acknowledging Dysfunction in Society

24:12 - The Cycle of Strength and Weakness

25:10 - The Impact of Language on Children

27:12 - Setting an Example for Children

28:03 - Redefining Success in Relationships

30:24 - The Importance of Knowing Yourself Before Marriage

31:05 - The Role of Awareness in Healing

33:16 - The Significance of Family Background

36:49 - Cultivating Compassion Through Self-Reflection

37:30 - Shifting Perspective Through Gratitude

38:02 - The Journey from Action to State of Being

42:57 - Professional Integrity and Personal State

43:30 - Safe Environment for Healing

44:20 - Relationship Dynamics

46:36 - Complacency and Healing

48:15 - Personal Transformation and Purpose

51:01 - Experiences with Psychedelics

55:54 - Integration of Experiences

56:03 - Book Release and Social Media

57:43 - Passion for Helping Others

Sarah Malone [00:00:02] My name is Sarah Malone. I own a holistic health and wellness company called Spark the Secret Place. So the area of wellness that I primarily focus on is kind of the bridge between mind, body, spirit. So I'm a clinical hypnotherapist working in the in the nature of the subconscious mind. I also kind of do spiritual mentoring, these types of things. I host healing retreats. So we really work in all facets of mind, body, spirit in order to help people that, you know, those people and you know these people. They've been doing talk therapy for a long time. They've been doing all sorts of therapy and working on themselves for a very long time and haven't found freedom or liberation or answers. These are the types of people that I work with, those that have they know there's something either trauma or just subconscious patterns that they can't break free from and are looking for answers and the actual healing and liberation from those patterns and habits. I mean, I'm I'm, I'm working with people from all facets of life, really. If you want more peace and to step more into your power where we're so we're speaking the same language.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:01:11] Well, perfect. All right. So let's let's run into that real quick, because I always tell people like some of the things that like, there's a difference between. Yeah. Like with the things you need a psychiatrist or psychologist for. Am I If you have if you have suicidal thoughts, if you have, you know, massive, you know, psychiatric issues like schizophrenia or something like that, like those are great things for like to go see your psychologist, psychologist or psychiatrist for. But the things that you need to get through the normal everyday daily life, stuff like that's that's what this type of thing is for. Yeah I tell people all the time, like you go to the gym to build your physical body. What do you do to build your mental health? And this is the type of thing that we usually have people look at is, you know, have your walk through the the way that you get through life. So this is really fantastic.

Sarah Malone [00:01:58] Yeah. I mean, and the way I look at it, too, is this like you go to the doctor when you when you break a bone, right? But for the majority of the time, you're not breaking bones. And I don't I don't view people so much as broken as I as I do in injured or needing strength. Right. Mental, emotional strength. And that's really where I mean, I think you and I both operate in the realm of there are very few circumstances that we go to these types of people for medications and inpatient therapy. 90% of the things that we're talking about are not it.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:02:33] Yeah. Yeah. And that's and that's typically and that's what the vast majority people need the most help with. So is the communication and stuff like that. So walk me through one of the things that like when I talked to you about hypnosis, one of the things that we hear a lot of is the the they don't want to lose control. They don't want to give up. You know, I don't want to I don't know what this person's going to do to me when I'm in gnosis. Walk us through that misunderstanding or how exactly powerful that is.

Sarah Malone [00:03:00] Yeah, that's that's the number one fear that people come into hypnosis with. Here's the truth about hypnosis. And this is how I like to phrase it to people. Hypnosis is all it is, is a state of mind. And we're actually entering in and out of different states of hypnosis all day long, light and deep. Right. Deep states of hypnosis would be those trance like states. Sometimes when we're scrolling our phone and or right before we go to sleep at night or right when we wake up in the morning, we're in a deeper state of hypnosis. And so the truth about the subconscious mind, this is the cool part, is it has a natural protective mechanism, meaning I'm not inflicting anything on my clients and I'm not making them do anything. In fact, the subconscious mind will prevent or protect anybody from doing or saying or going any place in their mind that they're not ready to go to. So this is this is a cool thing that I like to share about hypnosis because that's not possible. It's not possible for me to do anything to anybody or make them do anything. But they don't actually, in their subconscious mind, want to do.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:04:04] Okay, so. So on that, like when people see like this, that the the shows and everything, they do that explain that piece because that seems to sometimes be to people who are they don't understand that and they're like they wouldn't want to do that on stage. So why are they doing that?

Sarah Malone [00:04:22] Well, and they do. That's the thing. They do want to do that on stage. And so hypnotist stage hypnotists know this very well. They know how to pick people, right? They pick those people that seem highly suggestible or seem highly like, I want to make this a show or I want to prove this person wrong right there. Then you're going to see a cat peeking in the corner, too. Well, that'll be good. Therapy animal, but they pick people who are highly motivated to do this, to do the performance because they know they're going to do they're going to put on the show, they're going to be a part of the show. So, in fact, my partner, my boyfriend was one of those people in high school. He was picked to do a stage hip hypnotist type of thing. And he's the type of person who he likes to make people laugh. He likes to, like, make people laugh. He likes to kind of joke around with people. And so, of course, he's raising his hand. The hypnotist picks on him and he's like, I remember everything, but I was barking like a dog and quacking like a chicken. And it was hilarious. So that's what we're really that's what we're really dealing with here with stage hypnosis.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:05:31] And that's and that's I think the unfortunately, I think that's the the picture everybody gets in their head whenever you talk about hypnosis. Is is that or the movie stuff where they make they do And again it's movie stuff. So that stuff's not real. And so that's the thing I think people see more.

Sarah Malone [00:05:47] Well and, you know, and there is a way to get people in those deep trance like states. In fact, a fun fact about hypnosis is hypnosis started in hospitals and in dentistry with hypnosis, hypnotizing people to get major surgeries. And we're talking open heart surgeries here without any anesthesia. So there is a way to hypnotize people into a very, very deep state that you can't even feel pain. You can't even speak or or I should say you don't want to speak. So there are really deep states of hypnosis like that, and it's very, very real. But the point of hypnosis is that it takes a collaborative effort, right? I can't put people under a spell. They're opting in. They're taking the suggestions that I'm saying and they're putting them to work for them. And this is a very empowering thing because that means that we can do this for ourselves whenever we need or want to. That the power of our mind is so powerful that I can tell you something, you're going to feel very relaxed next. And the next thing you know, you're feeling very relaxed. And it's all the power of your mind. So I'm not doing it. You are.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:06:59] And that's you know, it's always funny because, you know, people come in and, like, when we'll do stuff and they'll, you know, I'll give them the path and I'll go to the gym and they'll, you know, take all the supplements and they'll do all the stuff and they'll, they'll get the body they want and they come and they're like, Thank you so much. I'm like, You did it all.

Sarah Malone [00:07:12] You did it.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:07:13] Like I told it all the time. Like, what's the most important thing about, you know, health or bodybuilding? I'm like, your mind. And they're like, What do you mean? I'm like, You're the one who chooses to go to the gym. You're the one who chooses to do the workout. You're the one who chooses to sacrifice the diet piece. So you have to choose it all, which means you have to start with your mind.

Sarah Malone [00:07:32] It's so funny because I'm hearing you say that. And. I see like this interesting thing happen when when you say that they want to take responsibility for one thing and they want upon the other one off for another. So I'm how could I let myself get this way and I'm so I'm so ashamed of myself and all these things. Then when they get healthy because they've taken your suggestions, you're the miracle worker. And it's like, you know, this this is probably the mental mechanism that got you in the issue in the first place, is that you're not taking full ownership of both. This we have a right and a left. Which path am I going to take right if I get saved? You're the hero. But if I die, it's my fault. That's dangerous.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:08:14] Well, I think it's because I don't know if it's culturally taught like that axiom has to be taught somehow. I don't think everybody just picks it up. But, you know, I think that's the funny thing. Is it the word that reflects is a complete lack of responsibility and power because we're like, I don't have the power to if I just wanted to and I had the power to do it, I would have done it earlier. But I have to go elsewhere to get the power to do these things. And that's one of the things I always try to teach them is like the fact you're doing this means you have the power to do it. You just choose to do it. And that's the biggest piece that I come across. It's always funny to me when people don't know that.

Sarah Malone [00:08:49] Well, the question is, what are you bringing out of them in themselves that's helping them to find that power? Because sometimes it's like there are doors and this is the nature of the subconscious mind to right? There are doors inside of us that we can't even see. That we need somebody help like you or like myself. We need these people. That's why we work so well together. We need people to open those doors, or at least show us where those doors are once they're open. It's like, game over, baby. I got this, but I needed you to show me the door. And I think that's what people need to start reframing in their heads. Like, thank you for showing me that I had the power in myself all along. That's really the work that we're doing.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:09:31] And so that's that's one of the things I try from the very beginning to teach people is you've got to because my, my goal isn't in this sounds weird. I don't want to keep people on my plan forever. Like, my goal is I want to teach you how to do this stuff. And then you learn at the end of a couple of months, you go do it and maybe you teach your family how to do it. And then I'll grab the next person who needs to learn it, and I'll teach them like the idea of because I talk like they're people, like, are you going to be diet plans? Like, No, I'm going to teach you how to eat. I don't want to be dependent on me for the rest of your life. Like learn to eat.

Sarah Malone [00:10:07] Yeah. And there's one thing I learned too, because I started my my career as a fitness and nutrition and lifestyle coach. And I would always tell my clients, if you want a meal plan, I can give it to you, but hear me out. If I give you a meal plan, chances are it's going to feel very restrictive after a while and you're not going to follow through on it. And what's this? What's not sustainable is what's not is is not successful. And so I'd much rather teach you how to eat so that no matter where you go, no matter what circumstance you're in, you know what to do. And you have those tools inside of you. And they're like, Yeah, I think I like that better. Yeah.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:10:44] It's, you know, it's always it's going to be more difficult for the first like 2 or 3 weeks because you're taking an active role in this instead of just taking a piece of paper and eating the chicken or the steak or whatever it is like, but you're taking an active role. So the first three weeks have been more difficult, but after that, you have the power to do it. And once you have the power to do it, everything kind of unfolds into that. And then like I teach people, these are the workouts we're doing and here's why I chose them. And I can start to explain to people why we're it's so whenever you feel like the need to change, you'll understand how to design your own workout. Yeah. And so and that's that's, that's been really fun for me because like as we go through it, like I was, like I said, we do lots of mental stuff as well because people just don't know how to deal with this type of thing and like it. My one of my favorite things to do is be like is to categorize, okay, what is it you need? Right? It's like people are coming in like, okay, you don't need surgery, but we need to do this injection or like, you know, you need to like, there's a, there's another doc that I worked with for a while and Dr. Bian, she is the best pediatric and pregnancy specialist I know. And so when people come in and they're pregnant, I'm like, I can work on you. However, this is the person is, I think, the best at this job. And so you should go see her in the right. How good is you? Like, I hired her, take care of my wife and kids. Like that's how that's that's why she was here for five years. And they're like, okay. And so then it's just how far you want to drive. So, you know, it's always fun for me to find, like when we can figure out, Hey, this is the person that this type of modality would work the very best at. And it's like, okay, who's the best at this particular modality to get them to reset? And so it's a little bit fun because like people will come back from whoever we send them to and they'll be like, this is so much better. And I'm like, Great. Did you did you get everything out of it? And they're like, Well, I mean, I think so. And it's like, Well, then go back and make sure that you got all the stuff. And so like when we were out to like hypnotists and stuff like that, what is the thing that you do that's like your piece that you feel like you're better at like your specialty and within your field?

Sarah Malone [00:12:50] For me, the one thing that I work with the most and the best is with. Well, two things. Childhood trauma. So and we've all had that. Like, let's be honest, we've all had traumatic experiences. We sometimes just don't realize it. But any patterns in relationships that are showing up because relationships, there's nothing like an intimate relationship to bring out the best and the worst parts of you. And they're the most pleasant, they're the most fulfilling, and they're also the most painful experiences of our life, right? So in intimate relationships, we usually discover, my gosh, I have this about me, I have this about me, and I want to change this. So my specialty is helping people to take any pattern or thing that is preventing them from loving, fully being intimate, stepping into their purpose, finding the root, which nine times out of ten goes back to childhood and healing those.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:13:48] So how will. So how old do you usually start working with people? Because I know lots of kids between 13 and 15 who need work. Do you work with children or.

Sarah Malone [00:13:57] Those are the best. Those are the best to work with. And I'll tell you why. Because children's minds are more open and they they still have that kind of mode of thinking where anything is possible. Right. So they go into it. And that's my mode of operating when I go into a hypnosis session with somebody. For me, all bets are off limits. It's limitless, right? It's. We can do anything in here. You want to do that? We'll just go back to that moment. Boom! And they're there. And the more belief I have, you know, it kind of helps drive the ship. And they're just like, I guess we can just go there. And in their mind, they can go there. But children are so easy because they're already there. Most of the time they're open. They haven't had granted. You know, there's I work with a detective. And a homicide detective. And she has a lot of cases with. Childhood sexual abuse. And just physical abuse. And so we've partnered to she's dealing with like the worst of the worst that can happen to these kids and then sending them to me early on to help with these circumstances rather than waiting until we're 30, 40, 50 years old and then having to discover, my gosh, my whole life I've built up constructs and limits around this thing that happened to me when I was five. And we can be operating from that mode for our whole lives. Not even realize it. So, yeah, you can. You can work with four year olds. I mean, you could work with five year olds that just as long as they can understand language. Because here's what's cool. This is just a fun piece for your listeners. The subconscious mind is like a bright nine year old child. And so that is exactly how we speak to the subconscious mind. Like it's a bright nine year old child. Very simply, Positively. And matter of factly. And so the younger they are, the closer they are to that age. And they can they'll understand everything.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:15:57] Very, very nice. Yeah. It's one of those deals where, you know, because we do a lot of PTSD work with adults and we'll use, you know, we do mental work and then we do psychedelics and it while. I don't know what it would do to a 13 year old. Like, no one's been using psychedelics on 13 year olds. And so, you know, the this type of thing has been the thing that we've been leaning to more. But there's a lot of parents out there who will come in and they'll be like, Yeah, my kid has A.D.D. and has this and that, and so we'll do the nutritional stuff. And I'm like, okay, well, the diets changed and this is better. And I'm like, But he's not, or she's not all that much better. And I'm like, Well, then let's start working on the mind. And so this would be the type of thing that I think would be really, really good because like you said, many people have a lot of trauma that no one knows about. And like the trauma that you have, I guess with some people it's the trauma that's perceived, not the trauma that's received. Because depends on how they thought it was, because it could be this little thing, the joint that was just a little thing. That's not a big deal. But they thought it was a big deal. And so they need to get that treated.

Sarah Malone [00:17:05] The mind is an interesting thing, right? And how I define trauma and this has been defined in many different ways. This one a lot, though very common. A trauma is defined as an experience or a set of experiences that you have or remember this, that you witness that at the time of it happening, you did not have the mental or emotional resources. So we can have traumas. As simple as I spilled the milk, my mom yelled at me, I got scared and boom, now I'm traumatized. Now I take in this belief where I have to be perfect or don't make a mistake or I'm a burden. I'm in the way weak. I mean that the the mind, especially as a young child, can conjure up so many different beliefs in order to protect that child from ever having that pain again. If that was a scary moment and it was very jolting to my system, then then, yeah, I'm going to make sure that I never that that never happens again.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:17:58] Yeah. And that's not.

Sarah Malone [00:18:01] Going to happen.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:18:02] Well, we also see I've also see axioms built around that that are self-reinforcing. So like if you have boys, this happens quite often. I see two boys when boys and girls are put into a classroom and the teacher, they say, doesn't like boys. The teacher wants you to sit down and be quiet and the girls sit down and be quiet. And the boys are rambunctious. And so the teacher starts harping on the boys, but not on the girls. And then the boys sort of see, you're nice to the girls, you're mean to the boys. They start to build this this thing in their mind where they start looking for all the times where the sexism has now pushed the barrier between, you know, well, I'm always in trouble just because I'm a boy. And as they start building that, you start to see it happen more and more and more, and you actually start seeing it being taken out on girls where they're angry about it and they start taking it out and like, well, I don't care if they got hurt because, you know, whatever. Right. Because girls.

Sarah Malone [00:18:53] Girls are mean. Girls suck, whatever that may be. Yeah, that is so true. I mean, the system is constantly scanning and looking for safety and comfort. Right. And so if it finds any reason to believe that it's not safe, it then has to come up with some sort of belief. When that belief gets set in. Now we have two options while the ego has two options and it will take one or the other. I have to confirm this belief, so I will look for all the ways like you just said. I will look for all the ways that this is true. That way I know I'm not crazy. Or number two, I must go to lengths to prove that this is wrong. Right. I have to now. Now I'm going to be searching for approval from girls all the time. No, no, no. I have to get this approval. I have to change this right. And we will literally construct our lives based around those beliefs become because they become our identity. And the ego's number one fear is that its identity will be disillusioned or a lie, or it will break down like it's a foundation that it will just break down. And this, by the way, happens a lot of the times in repetition, too, like something very, very small. But if you hear your parents saying something over a lot over a long period of time, your whole childhood boom, a belief in identity, Right. Trying to think of something right now would be like. For my own personal example, I'll get vulnerable on your show. I'm fine with that. You know, my mom would say, you're so clumsy. Sarah, so clumsy. She's such an airhead. She's spacey, whatever that may be. You say that enough times to a kid and they start to believe that. Yeah, I'm just clumsy. I'm just spacey. I'm just. Whatever. And if I am, statements become like, the driving force in somebody's life.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:20:37] I see that all the time. And it's funny because he will make comments like, Well, I'm this, and I'm like, What makes you think that? So and I've.

Sarah Malone [00:20:46] Had just that question. They're like, Well. I don't know. I've never thought of that before.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:20:52] Yeah. It's like. All right. Well, who's been telling you that? My mom says to me all the time. Who else says it to you? And they go. If you're like.

Sarah Malone [00:21:04] Yeah.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:21:05] Yeah, maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But let's walk down that road. Let's, let's, let's investigate that that thing and see how accurate it is. Yeah, because here's the thing. Adults do this too. Right. So if you've got a kid who's just, you know, falls down a lot when they're small and you tell them they're clumsy when they're small because maybe they were clumsy when they were small. But you continue to say that because you've got that in your head that this is a clumsy kid. You've now built this into the child as well.

Sarah Malone [00:21:32] So this my gosh, this is a beautiful point because this is why it's so important for adults right now to be. To be equipping themselves with the knowledge about these things, right? Because then they can choose to not only heal themselves and heal the not pass the baton along, but they also have the opportunity of speaking to their kids. Right. And preventing their kids from experiencing some of these lies. We'll just call them dysfunctions because trauma is a big word and people are like, I don't have any trauma. I had actually a pretty good childhood. And yet they're like, have all these dysfunctional relationships and things. So we'll just call them dysfunctions. But when parents and the adults that are listening, because I don't anticipate any children are listening to your show, the adults that are listening, it is so important that you do equip yourself with the knowledge and the wisdom of the nature of the subconscious mind and how you have stored your own traumatic experiences and how they've become dysfunctions and how easily that can happen just by the words that we say, not only out loud to our children, to other people, but the words we say to ourselves. Because this dialog, this language is running in the background 24 seven. And that's not to say get hyper obsessive with every thought that you think and every single word that's running through your subconscious mind, because that's not going to be possible. But when you catch a thought where you're emotionally triggered or aroused in some way, you can you can slow things down and get curious to be like, All right, hold on. That situation did not fit the response, right? It's disproportionate. Maybe there's something there that I can get curious about and and being sure to speak life into our kids and into our youth is probably the one of the most world changing, life changing things we could do right now because the next few generations. They have a very they have a very important role in the world that they're stepping into.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:23:30] They've got a lot of stuff they need to fix. It's funny because, like, it's like, here, fix this that we have to like, you know, make it better.

Sarah Malone [00:23:42] Well.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:23:43] I know we did. We messed it up, but we know we messed it up. But we know why and how. Now. So now. Yeah. To learn how to, like, unscrew everything that will.

Sarah Malone [00:23:51] Help equip you with the tools to unscrew what we just did. Here you go. Yeah.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:23:57] Good news. Bad news. We figured out we broke you and we figured out how to fix you. The bad news is you're so broken.

Sarah Malone [00:24:03] Well, you know what they say. Strongmen make good times, good tempt times make weak men. Weak men make hard times. Hard times make strong men.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:24:12] Yeah, it's a cycle. And so we're just. We're. We're on the upswing. We're on the upswing. So it's always funny because when I talk to people and I'm like, Have you ever heard the expression, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. And they go, Yeah. And I'm like, Think about that for just a second. Why do you think you can or why do you think you can't? Because someone has probably told you over and over that you either can or that you can't because you don't just necessarily think that's on your own. Dr. Peterson went through a big deal on this with his Nietzsche lectures. He, like, goes through this whole thing. And like, I think he was like, well, walk through that. And you're like, okay. So apparently, I don't think it's just a combination of everything everybody said, which is important to understand because then you recognize what we're talking about. If you keep telling your kids you can't or you are this thing, you will reinforce that in their head. But if you tell them that they can do great things and that they are great people, you're going to reinforce that in their head.

Sarah Malone [00:25:10] Here's the caveat with that. Sometimes we're saying things without saying words. And so if we're going to tell our kids, like my life is a perfect example of that, if if you're going to tell me you could do anything or you should do this, don't lie. Don't do these things right. Here's a great moral code. But I myself am not living by it. Well, you're giving me mixed signals now. So I don't know what to take in. But the easiest thing for a child to do is to take in the actions. And actually, let's be honest, the easiest thing for anybody to do is take in the actions, right? If you're saying one thing and doing another, I have no choice but to go with your actions. You mean what you do? You don't mean what you say. So we have to be we have to be careful that we are creatures of language. And. And language is verbal and nonverbal. And so sometimes, you know, sometimes we're getting these messages to your listeners. We're getting these messages about you can't do something, not because anybody actually said that to you, because I've had people say, well, I can't remember my mom ever saying anything like that. She wasn't really negative. She wasn't really mean. But you still picked up on these messages somehow, right? Subconsciously or from her actions or for her patterns or or the dynamics between you two. So your, your your subconscious mind works in so many different realms in the mind. Yes. But in your sensory system, first and foremost, it never turns off. It's constantly sensing the environment. So I just wanted to say that.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:26:47] So it's it's funny because like I always tell people like you're the example for your kids, like you speak to your kids with who you are and what you do. And my Let was he said, you know, he said, not fulfilling your own personal dreams as child abuse, your children, you're teaching your children that they can't do the things they want to do. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.

Sarah Malone [00:27:12] Inside Man, I'm so passionate about that because I see so many parents who who they like, they. They hang their merits up on, like, just not getting a divorce. Right. Well, I'm not going to. I'm not going to pass that trauma down to my children. And yet they live this like, watered down lifestyle, not living into their full potential. Kind of miserable in the marriage. And I'm like, you think you are like some hero because you're staying in this marriage where you're not actually a fruitful human being and teaching your kids the right thing to do.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:27:43] You're teaching them to stay in relationships that they're that are dead.

Sarah Malone [00:27:47] But you're teaching them to settle for way less than what they deserve and and what they're capable of.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:27:53] It's as I always tell people, I, like, make a great marriage. And they're like, well, yeah, it takes energy. It takes work. But here's the thing. It's super worth it. Like.

Sarah Malone [00:28:03] And and remember that you can't change your partner. You can.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:28:09] Ask yourself.

Sarah Malone [00:28:10] Yes. And so another thing that I that I see is this more macro now programing happening. Here's what you're supposed to do to be a successful American person. You're supposed to go to school, get married, buy a house, have kids, and live happily ever after. The only problem is a lot of people are not happily ever after at all. They're very miserable and they find that out way later. And so chances are there are a lot of people the divorce rates so high, not because we can't make commitments. That's why my belief the divorce rate is high, because we've followed a system that we're not designed to follow and we don't find the right person based off of the right things we find them based off of. I'm checking off the boxes. Here I go doing my thing. See, Mom, I'm successful. See that? I'm successful. I have this wife and kids now, and I didn't marry this person from values or passion or that they brought out the best in me. Right? Because one plus one should equals three, not two. And so when when the partnership is right, these two people come together and, my gosh, you just living in your purpose makes me want to live into my purpose more. And here we go. We're like, we're elevating each other, right? And then we bring kids into the world. Not before all of that. You do that after because you have a thriving place for them to grow. You have a good soil, a good environment. So like people are like, well, I'm trying. My wife just doesn't want to do this or I'm trying. And my husband just he he doesn't want to do this. Hey, listen, I love. The Sacrament of Union. But I don't oblige by the the law of marriage, because I think that that was a construct made by man for man's benefit. And it keeps man and woman trapped. A lot of the times. So, hey, I'm just saying to you, people out there, like, if you change you and you are. Absolutely. Because our environment does matter. I don't know if you believe that, but I believe that our environment does matter. We can't just overcome our environment. And I'm not just saying go out and get a divorce, but you should start really thinking like, did I do the right thing, that I marry the right person? Is this the best environment for my children?

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:30:24] This is something we talk about all the time because people come in, they're like, I want to save my marriage. And I'm like, okay, what's going on? And people tell me this all the time. They're like, Well, I started really leaning into myself and making myself a better person, and I'm working out now and I've started doing this and this and this, and my wife or my husband just doesn't doesn't want to go along. And the problem that I see is very similar to what you're talking about is the problem I see is that people got married before they figured out who they were and what they wanted in life. Yeah, because I'm like, if you don't know who you are or where you want to go or where you should go for what purpose, if you don't know where you should go, how are you going to find a partner to go with you on the journey.

Sarah Malone [00:31:04] Line on that path?

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:31:05] Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Right. So like, if you cause the problem is if you find the right person, they're the jet fuel for your rocket.

Sarah Malone [00:31:12] Yeah.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:31:13] If you find the wrong person, they're the sand bags. So you've got. Yes. And the problem is that people come in like, I don't want to get a divorce and like, maybe let's not take that completely off the table. Maybe that's the best thing for the both of you and your kids sometimes because, well, growing up in a relationship where the parents hate each other isn't a good thing for the kids. I made a mistake.

Sarah Malone [00:31:35] My gosh. I've had so many people say I'm so glad my my parents needed to get a divorce. I'm so glad they did. Or my parents should have got a divorce a long time ago in adulthood. Right. So listen. And there's a way to there's a way to do it. But but like you said, people get married before they find their purpose. And people get married before they heal from parental or childhood wounds. And this is very important because when we do this too early, we search for a partner. People will either and this is just kind of a known caveat or a trend that I see people either marry before they're healed from these wounds. Men will usually marry their mother. And women will usually marry their father. And it's because they're trying to either fulfill these wounds in some way to fill the void left by mom or dad or to relive them. And so it's very important that we do some underlying work. And not to say that, hey, you got to be healed before you get in partnership because none of us are truly healed. Right? We're all healing. But you've got to do some of this preliminary work in order to see recognize your own patterns and and so that you can be drawn toward a more, more whole version of your partner and feel a more whole version of yourself.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:32:56] And also, as long as you're cognizant of the issues that you have, it makes it a lot easier to deal with. And I also feel like if you're if you're seriously about dating somebody, the number one thing you need to do is go meet their parents. Because when you've met their parents, you've seen a possible future for them.

Sarah Malone [00:33:15] Yeah.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:33:16] Because that's the example that they have lived with their entire life. And so, you know, if it's a great marriage and they're great people and you're like, okay, you're going to get an insight into what the psyche of the person you're with is going to, at least with the influences of on the psyche, the person you're gonna be with. And so I'm like, You've got to meet the parents.

Sarah Malone [00:33:38] Yeah. And any possible wounds too associated with that?

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:33:41] Yeah. It's funny because I'll tell.

Sarah Malone [00:33:43] You, listen, you know, and then listen to listen to how they talk about it, right? Like, are they aware? Are they aware to say, Yeah, my mom and dad, you know, there was this, that and the other thing at the home. So I realized I need X, Y, and Z. Now you're with another conscious partner who is like, All right, we can definitely work with this, right? But if I'm totally oblivious and for lack of better terms, ignorant of how my past is shaping my present, then I have no hope for the future.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:34:12] Exactly. You know, it's always funny because people will come in and they I'll talk to guys when their wives are pregnant or they have babies and they're like they're like, I don't know. I'm nervous. And like, what are you nervous for? Like, I don't know. I just I don't want to screw them up. And I'm like, don't worry about that. You're going to screw them up. Like you're gonna screw them up. And like, the goal is to not screw them up. The goal is to figure out, I did this thing because I didn't understand how saying this or doing this or being this was going to be like and then be able to be cognizant of it and go back and be like, How do we fix these issues? How do I like I tell people, don't say you're sorry to your kids. Help them fix the problem because that's that's what it means. So like, go get yourself fixed and then be like, Hey, now that they've kind of fixed me, remember how I treated you like this? Here's the thing. Like, sorry. And by the way, here's some help. Like go see this person or this how to help.

Sarah Malone [00:35:05] Yeah. I mean, and that's that's one of the things I've seen in hypnosis with my clients a lot of the times too, is once they start going back to some of these memories and seeing themselves from a different lens, from a more compassionate lens, like, my gosh, look at me. I was only five years old. How could I know better? Yeah, you know, and I say, Do you love her or do you love him? You know, as a young child. Yeah, I do. And they, like, actually hug their younger self in that picture. And then they begin to see their parents or they begin to see or maybe it's not the parents. Maybe it's just some environment, right? When we when we are fostering greater compassion for ourselves, we inevitably grow in our ability to feel compassion for other people, including our parents, too. So now, even though I had the experience and it doesn't make it okay, but I actually have compassion for my mom for the way that I knew she was probably suffering and what could possibly make her act the way she was acting towards me or in that environment. And now I understand, right? There's something so much deeper where I can see her from love, but still hold my space of well, I still need this, so I need to either provide it for myself or need to get space right. So there's a there's a way to love in separation or in distance or whatever that may be. And that's really what I love seeing when I'm helping people in this area of their subconscious mind. Because when we go to parts that they can't see, call them shadow parts. When we go to shadow parts and we bring them out into the light, it brings the whole world into a lighter view. Inevitably, inevitably.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:36:49] He's there. That's funny because every time that we'll go to the saying is, once your mind has expanded, it never goes back into the box. And so it's like once you start seeing the things, you see them all over and you're like, my gosh, like, I can't believe, like, all these things like, were hidden from me before. And it's just like, well, again, you know, the unconscious of the subconscious mind, you're like, Well, what were you telling your unconscious mind or subconscious mind to look for? Because it's the whole idea. Like the blue Corvette. I use this example all the time. And if you start if you start thinking about buying a new blue Corvette, all of a sudden you see blue Corvette everywhere and you're like, everyone's buying a blue little Corvette in the last two weeks. Like, no, they were always there. You just weren't looking for them.

Sarah Malone [00:37:29] You weren't tuned into it.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:37:30] Exactly. And so so we use this a lot with gratitude because I'm like, here's the deal. The way we do gratitude to make if you're constantly trying to find a new gratitude for your for your nightly or your next morning's deal, you're constantly looking for things you're happy about. And so what ends up happening is that throughout the day, you used to, like, not see any. And now you see five or 6 or 7 things you're happy about. Your world hasn't changed at all. But the view of your world has. And so now you're a happy person. And it's just like, how did this happen to make you change what you chose to look for?

Sarah Malone [00:38:02] Yeah. And so now what's beautiful about that is and by the way, these small actions can make huge shifts in your life. Like just tiny things. You don't have to totally reinvent your whole life to change it. But now you shifted from doing an action of gratitude to living in a state of gratitude. And this is why these things like affirmations and meditation and gratitude, these things like they seem cliche, but they're so important because we're not just doing things that check it off the box. They literally become the state that you live in. And all you did, all you did was a couple of different shifts in your mind. Your life may not change immediately or circumstances may not change immediately, but your experience of your life will. And that's really what your reality. I put that in quotation marks if you're just listening and not watching. It really is. It's not like you're not changing reality, right? You're changing your experience of reality. And through some of these things, then you may be able to like change your circumstances, which becomes a new potential reality. But the point is that what you're basically saying is, you know what Tony Robbins says where your focus goes, where your focus goes, your energy flows. But but the other part is that I want to remind your listeners to like, you're not bad if you haven't done these things or you're not doing those things or whatever it may be. First of all, there's two ingredients that you need. Number one, you need to be aware that you can actually do that. And number two, you have to be in a state, my gosh, this is so important. You have to be in a state enough of safety and security for your subconscious mind and your system to be like, okay, we can go there now. We can do that now.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:39:55] This is these are really big pieces for psychedelics. And so there's a way to do psychedelics really well and there's ways to kind of mess it up. But like, the big thing is that the set, the setting, the intention, it's like, where are you comfortable where you are? Like, how are you? Do you feel safe and secure? Like, is everything like around you? Are you good because your mind won't let you, like, release if it feels trapped or uncertain or scared. And so you get really, really comfortable. And then you're like, okay, now that you're safe, you feel safe. Now, how is your mind set up? Is your mind ready to do the mental stuff? Like, is it open? Is it accepting? Is it excited about this? Is it wanting to change because of you? Is you're going to get great results, which is why I said, well, before you do psychedelics, you need to do the mental work. Like, like this. You figure out how to deal with not only yourself, but what you're going to see and process after you do the psychedelics.

Sarah Malone [00:40:48] So you need the tools. And you know, one thing. So so first of all, I love that you're you're doing some of this work, too, because I've had so many people say after a hypnosis session or a hypnotherapy session, I like to call them. Is that whoa, that felt like a psychedelic experience. It felt like I was on acid or something. And I'm like, Yeah, man, your your mind is so powerful. You're going to have these kind of, like, psychedelic, like experiences without the actual drug. But one thing that what you're saying, you're saying setting the setting and then make sure you have a contract. That's what you're saying. Basically contract with your system to say, are we doing this or are we not? Like, are we all in or are we having some reservations? And one thing I always ask my clients before we even go into hypnosis is just check inside, see if there's any fears, reservations or hesitance is coming up or if you're totally ready to do it and and ready to go inside, you'll get a strong pull. I'll say this you'll get a strong pull for a yes or you'll feel something, right? Like a resistance or a fear. And we could talk about that before we even go into it. And that alone makes them feel so safe. And that's why even this, the safety, the person that you're working with. Right. People that come to you, they obviously have a relationship with you. They feel safe. They can go into these psychedelic experiences. People with me feel safe for different reasons. But if you go to a practitioner and you have no rapport, you feel like it's just kind of business transactional. It's or it's just cold and you're like, I feel like they're a little bit stressed out. Like, I don't feel comfortable here. You're not going to get very far. Yeah. And like, the relationship with you and your guide is so important because you do have to feel safe. You have to feel safe that not only. And here's a big one. You want to be looking like, does my practitioner or my or my guide or my therapist, Do they do their own work? Can I see it? Right? Does it does it appear that they know what the hell they're talking about? Because they've done it themselves not to.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:42:57] Have lived it.

Sarah Malone [00:42:57] Like, yeah, yeah, exactly. And are they continually do it right? And sometimes sometimes I'll tell my clients, you know, I'm in I just. Or if something really bad happened in my life, I am not in a good state right now and I want to make sure that you get the best value out of this hypnosis session. So let's push it to tomorrow. Right. Or or whatever it may be. You you need that. You want that with your practitioner, to be honest with you, where they can their nervous systems can be in safety so that they can almost create a space, a container around you for that safety as well. And here's what I also say to people. Listen, if you're in an environment at home or in your life that is triggering you into a trauma response fight or flight or freeze and you don't feel safe, sure we can do this work, but if you're going right back to that environment, it's going to be very hard to make real progress. Like real healing, right? You may be able to become more aware of these things, and that is a part of healing, too. But can you make the actual changes? Chances are slim to none if you're going right back into that circumstance. So I like to like encourage people to get the courage to get out of there first so we can do like some big, big, amazing work.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:44:20] Well, because it's one of those things I always tell people, you know, the reason that if you're like, Well, where should I start my life? Well, obviously you can start with you, but the first thing you want to target is your relationship function. And the reason I say that is because if you if you can build a place where you go home and it's the calm from the storm, it's your peace, it's your place of respite, you can go out in the storm, get your teeth kicked in every day. Yeah, come home and be good, dog. Yeah, That's what you have to build, whether you're whether you decide I have to leave the situation on. And right now and go create a new situation for myself or you know what? We're both in a position where we could build this together pretty well. Great. Then build this thing together. But you still have to have a place where you go home. You're at peace because if you go home to a bad relationship and you're stressed out there, then you go to work and you're stressed out there. You have very little chance of healing anything.

Sarah Malone [00:45:17] Yeah. Yeah, that's. And some people don't understand that, that in order to actually heal your system needs, it needs some sort of equilibrium or safety or else it won't go deep. And it's it's like you said. But the thing that makes me sad when I hear you say that is that the truth is, I feel like a lot of people don't have that. And that may be the biggest problem, is that they don't feel safe going home. And not to say that when you go home, you're like, I feel like I'm going to be attacked and, you know, killed. That's not what we're talking about here. But safety can look like many things and it has to foster a peaceful, emotionally safe environment. If you're going home and there's constant chaos and your wife is nagging you all the time, that's not a place to recharge and feel safe and let it down. If you're going home and your husband is angry all the time, or maybe he drinks or maybe he's just not there like he's there, but he's not there. That's not a safe environment. You know, these these types of things we really have to look at as essential to the healing process.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:46:25] Yeah. You know, it's hard to imagine this way, but it's either building you up or it's tearing you down. There's not a whole lot of neutral. You're like, my marriage is fine. I'm like, That's not a thing.

Sarah Malone [00:46:36] That's.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:46:36] Better. Or it's making you worse.

Sarah Malone [00:46:39] Like word. That word. Fine. Yeah, we're fine. I just feel like. Because he's like.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:46:47] I'm like, why didn't you say, great? Like, shouldn't that be the goal? Yeah. If you're like, our marriage is fine. I'm like, okay, well, let's start right there.

Sarah Malone [00:46:58] What I hear when I hear people say fine and like answer like that is that they're a little bit numb.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:47:05] Yeah.

Sarah Malone [00:47:06] Like, they, they, they have just autopilot in their answers to where they're not even thinking about how they feel. This is a part of the ego, by the way. It's a part of the adapted child state where a child adapts to its surroundings. And in order to not feel this much pain all the time, I just adapt. I numb out, right? I disassociate from my feelings. If you ask me what I'm feeling, I don't even know what to say. So I just say I'm fine. Things are fine.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:47:33] But the other the other piece and I have and I'm sure that there's obvious psychological trauma that I've had that makes me so hate this type of thing, but it looks like complacency to me. Yeah. And and that's always one of those things that like, like I said, like I have, like when I, I have a little bit of personal, like, disgust with complacency because. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't that like, like it's a healthy amount, but maybe it's touched on a little bit more than it should be. And I'm like, I don't know where that's coming from, but like complacency, like the, the idea that I'm not going to continue down the path I'm on, I'm not going to keep pursuing my purpose. I've just stopped and like, this is good enough. And I'm like.

Sarah Malone [00:48:15] Good enough to kill me. Well, you know, so so here's the thing about our own traumas and experiences, right? I like to remind people that your pain and your painful experiences will be directly proportional to your purpose. So it's going to correlate somehow. And I think for us, for you and I, since we're helping people to like, come on, you got more inside you. Like that's literally the nature of our life existence, right? I want to help you discover what you're capable of. So how would we how would we be able to have it in us to where we accept complacency? So sometimes I believe that our painful experiences, our traumas actually help us because. So, okay, here's how I like to describe it, right? You will find your purpose at the precipice of these three things. Your passions, your gifts, and then your discontents, meaning your pains. So what am I passionate about? What am I really gifted at? And then what can't I stand? And right in the center of those three things are probably going to be your purpose in life. And for people like us, you know, watching my parents and watching my family, for that matter, just settle for honestly. Bullshit. Yeah. And get stuck in that look. Stuck in that loop was so hard for me to watch that. I'm just like, I have a holy discontent. And that's what I like to call it. A holy discontent for complacency. Like you said. And people who are just like, I'm like, you have so much more. Can I help you? But at the same time. Right. Like part of my healing would then be okay, I see their potential, but I can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves. And I don't like That was a hard pill for me to swallow. That was hard. That's because I'm stubborn, too. And I'd be like, No, I can what? I can win. And I could be as passionate as I want to be about their healing and about their liberation. And gosh, but it just drained me.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:50:24] And that was my thing. Because when I finally realized that, like, no matter how much I want it for somebody or how much I don't, it doesn't matter because they have free will. And until I recognize that it's their free will that we're working with, that it's, you know, it's just tyrannical. At that point, I'm like, All right, well, that made me feel a little bit better about it because like, there's so many people who say we should. So this this is the funny thing, right? So like a little bit to me.

Sarah Malone [00:50:47] I'm just thinking of us as tyrants, like trying to help people where helpers turn into tyrants because we want them to change so bad.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:50:55] And yeah, I think there's that's, that's the worry, right? Because it's like, no, I'm going to force you to get help.

Sarah Malone [00:51:01] Yeah, yeah. Let's.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:51:02] Let's back up off that because like, there's a lot of people like you look at the devouring mother or some like that. There's a lot of positions, psychological positions where the person was damaged because someone was trying so hard to help and they just they helped They they did damage by trying to help. And I think a lot of that happens.

Sarah Malone [00:51:19] Yeah, we can help people in a trauma. I mean, that's a really real thing and that's the nature of like healers, you know, we're healers is what we are. I think we're all healers in some way. But doing your own work, because that's how all of that desire comes from a pure place, right? I really want to help. Pure place that it starts from turns into something not so pure when we're carrying a little bit of trauma or charge to it and. That's that's why we have to do our own work to.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:51:53] Yeah, that was the big thing because like I always tell people, like I don't feel like I have integrity to tell you to do something else. I've done it myself. And so, so that's where all the psychedelics and stuff. And so when I did the DMT, the thing that I got out of it the most was that it's like you can do more than you're doing. Like, wow. And I was just like.

Sarah Malone [00:52:13] That was the experience.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:52:15] That was my DMT experience. Like, it's funny because like when people say like, I talked to God and this sort of thing is like, that's that's kind of how I felt. But it wasn't that I talked like I could hear better and it wasn't. It was weird because it wasn't like, Hey, you're not doing enough. I tell people, like it's it's like you're eating a really great brownie and then somebody comes and puts ice cream on top of it and you're like, my gosh, now it's so much better. Right. Like, I didn't know. I didn't know there was vanilla. Like, why did you get the ice cream? I know it was so great before, but now it's so much better. Like, that's that's kind of how it's kind of was like. Like that was the intent. Like, the feeling I got was like, if you like what you're doing now, turn the volume up. You'll like it a lot more.

Sarah Malone [00:52:53] And I do.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:52:55] I do. And that's like, that was because, like, that's why I like when people do BMT, it's like that. Like, I've talked to a bunch of people. This is why they feel like it's it's they've talked to God because it's wildly personal and it's unbelievable. Like you can say something like you're not doing enough and that's negative. But the way that I got it was like, Ah, if you like this.

Sarah Malone [00:53:13] It's more than just the message. It's like.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:53:16] You were stealing.

Sarah Malone [00:53:17] Yeah. I mean, for my dream to experience mine was pure, unconditional love. And this almost like a feminine aspect of myself that was unleashed in that. And almost to tell me, like, this feminine part of you is your power. Like, step into that. Like you are so held and loved and safe and secure and all these things. And it was an overwhelming experience, the experience. And unless you've had one like it, it's hard to explain because you can say, I heard this, and people were like, cool, that's great. But it's it's how, it's the feeling that you get. It's the ethereal space that you're in when you receive it. It is a direct encounter with God in which you can't really. It's kind of.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:54:06] Hard to explain because like the you can do better thing happened weeks afterwards. But kind of like when you're talking about when I was under, I felt like I would finally gotten to a place where all of the problems in the universe had been solved like they were. Yeah, they were all done. But it was just the most unbelievable sense of peace. It's so unbelievably difficult to describe. Just like. It's there. We're done. All the things have been fixed. Like all of them. And that was just how I felt.

Sarah Malone [00:54:35] Yeah. And it's almost like this reminder of, like, it's okay to just be. Yeah. Because it's all okay. It's all, it's all perfectly okay. And gosh. And then the work becomes. Integration is like. How do I integrate that experience in my daily life? How is this asking me to show up differently, to live differently? And I like to remind people, too, from these experiences like. Sometimes you don't have to change the things that you do. You just change how you're doing them. Right. And this is where this is where peace comes in. That's why I wrote a book about peace, is because, like a lot of these things, you can't you're not changing the whole thing up. You are just altering the way that you get to You get to experience this life. And it can be so much more than just stressful and dreadful and painful and worrisome and anxiety and all of these things that we carry around all the time. It can actually be very liberating. Fun? Yeah. Pleasurable. Yes. You can have pleasure in life, guys, and like all of these things. But those experiences help remind us what is surrounding us all the time. That love, that piece. We have access to it all the time.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:55:54] Yeah. And that's that's the fun thing when you start figuring out how to grasp on to that. So. Well, I've got patience and a couple minutes I do want to do this. Well, where can people get your book?

Sarah Malone [00:56:03] Yeah. So right now my book is on preorder on my website Spark flc.com and just go to the tab That's book right there. You can just preorder the book and then very soon it's going to be on Amazon Barnes and Noble Kindle, all places that you could possibly think to purchase a book. So we're just doing a couple of weeks of that. Yeah, that's where people can purchase my book.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:56:25] What's the title of the book?

Sarah Malone [00:56:26] The title of the book is Affirmations for a Peaceful Life. I've been writing this book for three years, and it came kind of out of well, out of the most chaotic time in the world, but also in my life as well. So you'll read about that, a couple of stories in there about how I basically was homeless, almost lost it all, moved states, restarted my business like a lot a lot of stuff.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:56:46] Very, very cool. Well, that's awesome. So, okay, what's the best way to really get a hold of you? Social media, that sort of thing. What? What? Your handles?

Sarah Malone [00:56:53] Yeah my social media on Instagram I'm Sara underscore spark Malone I'm on Facebook Sarah spark Malone or you can email me Sarah at spark flc.com fabulous awesome.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:57:06] Well that's fantastic. Well I could sit here and talk to you for hours and hours and hours, so.

Sarah Malone [00:57:11] But I'll see you on my show and we can do another one of these.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:57:14] That's the best idea. All right. So, well, that's pretty fantastic. So we'll kind of knock it off here and we'll we'll be good. So it was very nice having you on a phenomenal conversation. And this is one of the things I think is super important for especially for our world right now. Like every city talks about this all the time. I'm like, there's one thing, there's only one thing that everyone agrees on and that mental health is important. And then I go, What are you doing? For the one thing we all agree on, people go.

Sarah Malone [00:57:43] Nothing, nothing like that.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:57:45] See, like we know how important it is, but we're not doing anything about it.

Sarah Malone [00:57:49] Yeah, I just remember it's more than just listening to podcasts and like, listening to this stuff. It's actually about going and doing and and taking action. So thank you so much. I mean, we could just riff on this stuff all day. I sense your passion. I'm great. I'm grateful to you for your passion, what you're doing in the world, because I mirror that and thank you to your listeners for spending time with us.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:58:11] It is fantastic. Thank you so much. All right, We'll cut it there. So will be good. But that was fantastic. Yeah, you're super, super easy and fun to talk to, so.

Sarah Malone [00:58:20] It really makes.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:58:21] It does. It makes it super easy. So I super look forward to yours. So I'm going to go do my I've got actually a week of neuro linguistic programing training.

Sarah Malone [00:58:30] Yes, you said that.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:58:31] Yeah, So I'm excited about that. But it's funny because like, the guys who teach it are good friends of mine and they've been pestering me for week for actually a year and a half now to come get trained because Nathan was like, he like, you're already doing this. He was like, just like, get the rest of the toolkit. And I was like, fine. And so that's what I'm going to go do. And it's been like.

Sarah Malone [00:58:53] That's exactly what somebody that's how I got into hypnosis. Someone was like, You're already kind of doing this. Just go, go learn the actual science of it. I'm like, All right, yeah.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [00:59:04] Yeah. So it's funny because like, I put my wife through it and in she like, I put her through the training and she was like, after she got done, she was like, That was spectacular. And I'm like, Good. And so now she's helping me do it. But and it's funny because same exact thing she was negotiating like you didn't deal didn't get to her desk unless it was $100 million. And so she worked for Microsoft. She would negotiate hundred million dollars deal. So yeah, she was part of $1 billion deal with AT&T. And so she's been doing a lot of this stuff forever. But when she got she said when she got the whole toolkit and she was like, she's like, I see all these things in my life I can work on, I can fix and all these different things. And it has been the coolest thing is that. So she did that in March. No, she didn't. May And since then our relationship has gotten substantially better. I guess it is really, really nice. And it's because she's been fixing stuff in her that she's had problems with for a long time and she has not come and said anything to me. She's just I can just see and feel that her capacity to love is so much greater. Yeah, it's awesome. So we'll have Will we have to do that story or we get on your podcast?

Sarah Malone [01:00:15] But so yeah, let's do that. So whenever you're done with that, I don't think book on my podcast, we'll have another great show.

Dr. Matt Chalmers [01:00:21] I love it. Sounds great. Love is fantastic talking to you today.

Sarah Malone [01:00:25] Yeah my pleasure.

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Check out Chalmers Pillarsofwellness.com for Wellness updates! And ask me any questions you have at questions@chalmerswellness.com. I answer all of them and look forward to hearing from you.

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Dr. Matt Chalmers

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Pillars of Wellness with Dr. Matt Chalmers

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